Genuinely inappropriate and unfiltered

First name

Rob

I Can Speak

English

I Would Describe Myself As

Professional Chef, slightly autistic and extremely "socially dyslexic." I have a broad skill set and far too many hobbies, hindered by the curse of rarely having the amount of free time I want for my projects, and I'm sure being a workaholic doesn't help either.

I also have a Master's degree in Murphy's Law, and have earned the nickname, "Robstradamus," for my uncanny ability to predict the future so long as it's the worst possible outcome and somehow involves me.

I'd say that my best quality is my blunt honesty, especially when those opinions are invoked by my cynicism. I actually quite enjoy repeating what I've said behind someone's back to their face. But, I try not to take anything too seriously, so even if my jokes are poorly timed and inappropriate, they usually still elicit some kind of laughter. Fortunately, it works exceptionally well for deescalating tense situations and arguments.

However, I often have trouble connecting with people on a deeper level mostly because I tend to get stuck in my head and miss a lot of social cues, (which is why I consider myself to truly be a hopeless romantic.) So, even though I despise online dating, it's really the only effective means of being able to get to know people outside of work, especially considering that I am absolute shit at flirting.

All that being said, I still want to believe that soulmates are a real thing. I want to find my shield maiden, so to speak. Somebody who can keep up with my erratic thought train, is strong-willed and at least as weird as me. I like the concept of FLR's, but I need a relationship that allows for either of us to wear the pants. And I mean that both literally and figuratively, hahaha!

Sign

Cancer

My Body Type Is

Slim

My Height Is

6' 1 (1.85 m)

My Eyes Are

Brown

My Ethnicity Is

Caucasian

My Marital Situation Is

Never Married

I Have Kids

No

I Want Kids

Yes

My Best Feature Is

Smile

Body Art

Pierced... But Only Ear(s), Strategically Placed Tattoo, Visible Tattoo

My Hair Is

Dark Brown

I Have One Or More Of These

Dog

Willing To Relocate

No

My Education Level Is

Some College

My Current Employment Status Is

Full-time

My Speciality Is

Food / Catering

My Job Title Is

Chef

I Make This Much In A Year

$45,000USD To $59,999USD

I Live

With Pet(s)

At Home

Friends Come Over Occasionally

I'm A Smoker

Yes - Often

I Drink

Yes - Socially

Back In High School, I Was A

Outcast

My Social Behavior Is

Reserved, Observant, Comedic, Dark, Strange

My Interest And Hobbies Are

Dining, Arts & Crafts, Music, Tv, Movies, Cooking

My Idea Of A Great Time Is

Hanging Out With Friends, Staying At Home, Trying New Things, The Movies, Sleeping, Drinking, Playing Dress-up, Tv

An Ideal First Date Would Be

Anything relaxed

I've Always Wanted To Try

Robbing a bank

My Friends Describe Me As Being

A Troll, Raunchy, Goofy

My Religion Is

Other

My Political Views Are

Libertarian

My Goal In Life Is

Enjoy it.

My Kind Of Humor Is

Clever, Dry / Sarcastic, Raunchy, Sadistic

On Tv, I Always Watch

Cartoons, Movies

When I Go To The Movies, I Always Go To See A

Action, Science Fiction, Comedy, Family, Animation, Horror, Thriller, I'm A Movie Actor, Adult

When Listening To Music, I Always Listen To

Country, Rap, Rock, Metal, Classical, Vacuum Cleaner Noises, Blues, New age, Soul, Folk, Punk

When I Read, I Always Read

Comic, Fantasy, Fiction, History, Horror, Humor, Instructional, Mystery, Philosophy, Poetry, Satire, Science Fiction, Technical, Erotica, Supernatural

My Idea Of Fun Is

Whatever includes laughter and as little actual work as possible.

What Do You Find Attractive?

Wit, Flirtatiousness, Oddities, Humor, Good Looks, Intelligence

What Do You Look For?

An old soul who can tolerate my quirks.

What Kind Of Relationship Are You Seeking?

Friend, Intimate, Committed