Happy in Love, Just want new friendship

I Would Describe Myself As

I am 45, a mother of 3 kids, live with my amazing boyfriend, and am pretty happy. I am just spoiled, insecure, emotional, way too sensitive. I am realizing most of our problems are because of my issues. I am also ADHD which adds impulsive, procrastinate, overthink, forget easily, get distracted, have poor time management, unorganized, and am not a good listener. I think I am in pre-menopause so I'm hot all the time, moody, and during PMS each month I can be very depressed, irritated, and even more emotional and moody. I really want to have a domestic discipline relationship with my boyfriend, and we have experimented some but he is not ready to get into our roles 100 percent 24/7. However, this leaves me feeling frustrated, anxious, and stuck waiting hopelessly. I am not looking for anything sexual, or a new partner, just a person to give me discipline. I have goals i want to work on which include being more submissive to my boyfriend and be a loving, serving, wonderful woman, and a better mom. When i feel stressed, anxious, or grouchy, I really just wish someone would give me a good hard spanking and lecture and make me cry, set me in my place, and encourage me to get my self together and start making some changes. I need rules and discipline to stay on track because my mind is a spinning whirlwind of random thoughts and I am so easily distracted. I have a 4 year old daughter who needs attention also so I often completely forget about my duties or goals. So, I need a dom who is very good at lecturing and making me feel ashamed and think about my mistakes, and focus on what i have to do next. I really crave this because i want to feel absolution, cleansed, forgiven, and stop feeling like I am such a failure and like I will always be a looser. I think rules, consequences and rewards, encouragement and correction, will help me tremendously. Unfortunately right now I am focused on me and my problems, so I do not know what I have to offer as a sub. I suppose if you like working with new inexperienced subs who need to be broken in and conquered, I would be a good choice. Please understand that I am already in a relationship, I do not want sex or an affair or anything inappropriate that would hurt my relationship or my family. I only want friendship, and prefer a female dom at this time who is good at the physical and mental aspects of dominating and giving discipline. I need someone who understands this is not just a kinky thing to me, it is more serious. I told my bf when i met him 5 yrs ago that i was ready to let someone be the man of the house, but I do not let him. I try to control everything all the time, and i hate it, but i dont know how to stop. This is why i want to learn to be submissive, so that I can be a better woman, and so I will stay in my place and give my man a chance to lead and become confident, and be an awesome Head of the House. I am confident that he can and will be a great HoH if I would just give him the chance. So, I only want discipline from a Dom, so that I can begin to learn to be totally submissive, ask permission and for advice before i make hasty stupid decisions, have a quieter demeanor, become more aware of others needs and serve them, learn to show gratitude, and become worthy of being a wife to my sweet, loving, smart, wonderful man, and a great mother to my 3 kids. Please do not contact me if you want sex or someone to date, or anything other than friendship with benefits of giving discipline and teaching someone to be submissive, and helping someone become a better person. My hope is that you will gain something positive in return. Sincerly..... brattymommy.

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